Family

I apologize for not blogging for awhile. As some of you may know, my family was dealt a card we did not expect. Three months ago, my aunt (my dad’s little sister and only sibling) was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Prior to that, she was healthy and strong, planning for her next travel adventure. But she woke up one morning with a strange aching all over her body. The doctors determined that she had cancer which had spread all over her body, including most major organs and bones. There was nothing the doctors could do. It was so advanced that the doctors couldn’t even locate where the cancer originated. She was given only weeks to live. Bravely, she lasted just over two months. On October 2, she passed away peacefully at her home with family by her side.

The two months were extremely painful for her. She was on multiple pain killers but still no real relief. It was painful for all of us to see and hear about the pain she was experiencing. Her bones became very brittle and she suffered a couple fractures from just the weight of her own body. She became bed ridden as the doctors feared more fractures and her breathing became more labored.

But through all this pain, she remained as strong and stubborn as always. She often said that we can’t change the cards we are dealt - we can only play them as best we can. She visited with friends and family, played yahtzee and bridge, and just made the most of her last days through the pain. Thankfully, she was able to stay at home during this time. She had family with her 24 hours a day, helping her when needed and just being there for her when she was too stubborn to ask for help.

I am glad that she is finally at rest. No more pain. I am finding the loss very hard to deal with however. She was part of my support system. She was non-judgmental and unconditionally loving. But every time I start to cry, I think of her saying “it’s okay to let it out… then grab a hold of it!” She wouldn’t want us sad and sulking – she would want us living. So here I am, back at it and going forward. I’m not saying that the tears are gone for good, but I’m grabbing a hold of my sorrow and living life again. It helps to know that a lot of who I am comes from her: stubborn, independent, curious about the world, somewhat blunt and to-the-point, busy, resourceful, go-getter, determined, courageous and strong. My aunt now lives within me and I want to make her proud.

For the funeral, I prepared a slideshow of pictures of my aunt from childhood to current. It took me 3 days to prepare this 8 minute slideshow. Sifting through boxes of pictures and figuring out music took a while, and it wasn’t exactly easy to do emotionally. But it got done and everyone thought it nicely captured her 78 years within 8 minutes. If you would like to look at the slideshow, please click on the link below.

Aunt Rosemary's Slideshow

And now as the cloud of grief slowly floats away, I will get back to editing photos and completing my outstanding photography jobs.  Thank you to everyone for your patience.